8 d’ag. 2011

"Love, you must be about to give birth, aren't you?". "No, I'm only five months pregnant"

In their efforts to rule the world, twins rely on invaluable help - or control-from governments, business people and scientists. But they basically have a grassroots network that carries out their job efficiently. They locate you when you're pregnant and it's in this period when they try to take their mission to the highest level. There isn't a prototypical profile, but I've noticed that they usually hide behind the appearance of 50 to 70 year-old ladies who identify you as a "twin bearer" right when they see you. And their main task is to scare the hell of you.  They start out by attacking your weak point... "Oh, love, you must be about to give birth, aren't you? With such a bump, right?". And you answer, with the best of your smiles: "No no, I'm only five months pregnant". And faced with everybody's puzzled expression when you answer this, you fall into their trap. You feel that you need to explain yourself: "I'm expecting twins". -You've messed up. The undercover agents tell you that they also had twins. And that when you're 8 or  9 months pregnant you won't even be able to move. But that the worst will come later on. And so on and so forth. 

I've got to admit that I had a good pregnancy (swollen arms and legs, low mobility after month six and some minor problems), but in spite of this I didn' feel ill. It's just that I had always been terrified of pregnancy and all these conversations didn't help much.

It turns out that a nine-month pregnancy allows for many anecdotes. Besides the undercover agents in the form of elderly ladies, they also presented themselves in the form of other pregnant women. They make comments about how they can feel their babies move. And you think: "I carry two of them and I can't feel a thing... I guess that I'll notice it when it happens, right?". Comments about having the baby room ready...and the whole family asking you who buys the little beds, the baby trolley or the hammocks. "I don't want to think about this yet". More things to worry about... you'd better take this, you should go for a walk after dinner (how on earth do you want me to go for a walk in the evening with this huge bump!), salty water baths are good for your swollen hands...

My big question is: What do twins expect from this clear attempt to scare prospective parents? What do they gain from it? Or are the undercover agents not part of the twin invasion but from another agency which tries to give us tools to protect ourselves? Are there other parents of twins who have come together to denounce the invasion?